


If You Wannabe My Lover, You Gotta Get With My Friends.

by Allukaap



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: :DDDD, Book 1: Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, Constructive Criticism Welcome, Gen, Gryffindor & Hufflepuff Inter-House Friendships, He gets better, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Inconsistent Writing, Like, Not Canon Compliant, Ophelia Diana, Ophelia's last name is NOT Diana, Queer Character, SHES ADORABLE, Wack, af, almost everyones lgbtq+ actually bc i hate jk rowling, and cedric is 6"1???, crappy worldbuilding on my part, did you know that harrys about 5"9???, dw, first year, have fun reading, i am my own beta, i forgot, i mean they are so, i think its safe to say, i'll say whomst and bruh in the same sentence, im learning so, in like chap 2, its a struggle, ive said vibing twice in the tags now, not a oneshot, oc does not like snape and dumbledore, ocs name is, omg snape youre not cool, pov oc unless i say so, she and harry and susan are the orphan club, shes just vibing, sometimes itll be a lot then just radio silence so sorry, sorry peeps dracos annoying in this book, suprisingly, t for canon violence and some swearing, thats my bad :/, they all just vibin, thinks theyre sus, very iffy updating, wait, why is he 6"1, you'll find it out later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28780974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allukaap/pseuds/Allukaap
Summary: "I'm blaming this on you, Potter.""I didn't put that dog-thing there! Blame Dumbledore!""Good thinking. I ought to march up to his office and-""Blimey Harry, you've set Ophelia off, and then she'll get Hermione on a rant, and we'll both have headaches for the rest of the night!"Ophelia did NOT sign up for these Golden Trio shenanigans.
Relationships: Harry Potter & Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s) & Golden Trio, theyre eleven
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

Parkinson's Orphanage was a perfectly normal establishment with perfectly normal residents. Sike. Of course normal is a rather loose term when you house many personalities in one place. Bobby had six toes, and everyone was sure it was Mildred who killed that snake. These things are considered strange to outsiders who pride themselves on being normal. (The Dursleys are perfect examples of these types. They could say that Bobby and Mildred were strange children as they were perfectly normal themselves.) However, sixth toes and dead snakes were not the strangest things happening in Parkinson's Orphanage. In fact, Mrs. Walker, the caretaker of the children, could tell you that some of the things happening were, dare she say, _magical._


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ophelia gets her letter.

Ophelia Diana was a tall-ish girl with dark hair, silver eyes, and a smattering of freckles on her face. She liked to think of them as stars, since she'd been named after two of them. Ophelia Diana liked football and maths and baking, and was considered to be one of the kindest children in the orphanage. It was strange that she hadn't left the orphanage yet, as she was an adorable, well behaved (sometimes) child. But even mentioning leaving the orphanage forever, Ophelia would start sniffling, and light bulbs would start to crack. Mrs. Walker and the adults would quickly rush to comfort her, and the topic would leave everybody's mind. Mrs. Walker knew better these days, and Ophelia was content with baking cookies with the other children.

Aside from accidentally cutting Ms. Claire's beautiful hair, and the shattered light bulbs, to Ophelia, this life was normal. Her peaceful life was rudely interrupted by a letter. A letter? Who would be sending a letter to an orphan who didn't even have a last name? Mrs. Walker proclaimed it a somewhat disturbing prank, and they went on with their day. Then, the next day Ophelia was met with even more letters. Even more disturbed, Mrs. Walker and Ophelia made an united decision to throw the letters away. Ophelia was quite curious! She rarely went outside, only to find albums from her favorite bands and to run errands. She however shrugged off the thoughts of the letters and fell asleep. 

The next morning, she was met with a visitor. A stern-looking woman in emerald green robes stared unblinkingly at her. "Hello, Ms. Diana," she greeted. "My name is Minerva Mcgonagall." Ophelia just blinked. Mcgonagall continued. "I've come here to see if there was something wrong." Ophelia fidgeted in her seat. "Why would there be something wrong?" "You did not reply to our letter," Mcgonagall replied. Ophelia startled and rubbed her neck. "D'you mean the prank letter?" She asked, a bit disbelievingly. Mcgonagall fixed her with a stern stare. "It was not a prank, Ms. Diana. Did you perhaps, read the letter?" Ophelia sheepishly shook her head. "I was curious though," she bit her lip. "What was the letter for?" "You are invited to a boarding school in Scotland named Hogwarts," she replied. Ophelia giggled at the name. "Hogwarts? What a funny name!" Her expression shifted to a puzzled one. "If it was an invitation, why did Mrs. Walker think it was a prank?"

Mcgonagall cleared her throat. "Perhaps it was because of what is _taught_ at Hogwarts." Ophelia looked up at Mcgonagall curiously. Mcgonagall reached into her robes(?) and pulled out a familiar letter. "I suppose you would like to read this. Ophelia took the letter and turned it over in her hands. It was heavy, and not like regular paper. She traced over the seal. It was quite interesting. She ripped it open. 

    
    Dear Ms. Diana,

    We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

    Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.

    Yours sincerely,

_Minerva Mcgonagall_

Deputy Headmistress

"Owl!?" She cried incredulously. Mcgonagall pursed her lips. "Owls are our postmen, I suppose." "And what is this?" She gestured to the second page. 

HOGWARTS SCHOOL _of_ WITCHCRAFT _and_ WIZARDRY

    UNIFORM

    First-year students will require: 

    1\. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
    2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
    3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
    4\. One winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)

    Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.

    COURSE BOOKS

    All students should have a copy of each of the following:

     _The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)_

    _by Miranda Goshawk_

     _A History of Magic_

    _by Bathilda Bagshot_

     _Magical Theory_

    _by Adalbert Waffling_

     _A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration_

    _by Emeric Switch_

     _One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi_

    _by Phyllida Spore_

     _Magical Drafts and Potions_

    _by Arsenius Jigger_

     _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_

    _by Newt Scamander_

     _The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection_

    _by Quentin Trimble_

    OTHER EQUIPMENT

    

    1 wand
    1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)
    1 set glass or crystal phials
    1 telescope
    1 set brass scales

    Students may also bring, if they desire, an owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS

ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICK

    Yours sincerely,

_Lucinda Thomsonicle-Pocus_

Chief Attendant of Witchcraft Provisions

She breathed. "I'm to learn magic?" She looked down at the supply list. Her heart sank. "I don't have any of these supplies!" Mcgonagall solved her dilemma quite quickly in saying that she could get the supplies at a center called Diagon Alley. Ophelia chuckled. "I don't suppose there's a Vertic Alley?" Ophelia could've sworn she saw Mcgonagall's lips twitch. "When can I go?" Mcgonagall looked down at her. "I suppose this means you're attending?" Ophelia nodded eagerly. She had never wanted to go someplace else as much as this Hogwarts place. This all sounded fascinating! "Very well, Ms. Diana. We'll have a professor retrieve you to get your school things." Ophelia looked up at her again. "You're not taking me?" Mcgonagall shook her head. "I'm afraid not." Ophelia felt a bit disappointed, but it quickly was overcome by her eagerness to go to all of these places. "That makes sense, I suppose. It does say that you're the deputy headmistress." Mcgonagall nodded her head and turned on her heel. "Goodbye, Ms. Diana." Ophelia watched her leave with hundreds of questions stuffed in her head. She went to bed, and was ready for the day she got to explore this Diagon Alley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like Ophelia. I've never done this before, so hopefully her character fleshes out later in the books. Constructive criticism welcome :DD


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ophelia goes to Diagon Alley.

After the visit, she had spent a few hours trying to convince Mrs. Walker that she _really_ wanted to go to this school. Mrs. Walker had been skeptical at first, but seeing the letter and connecting the dots made her a bit more friendly to the idea. Key word, a bit. Hopefully, she'd be able to get Mrs. Walker to be more happy about it.

Not even a week later, Ophelia had yet another visitor. "Hello," Filius Flitwick squeaked. Ophelia stared at the short man. If she had any doubts about magic, they all vanished at the sight of Flitwick. Ophelia had read _The Hobbit_ , so maybe he was a hobbit? Maybe even a dwarf? She would've asked, but Ophelia felt it was a bit rude. It took her a bit to remember her mouth worked. "Are you going to help me get my school things?" Flitwick nodded and they both departed to the orphanage gates. "Now, do you mind if I apparate-teleport-us to our destination, Ms. Diana?" Ophelia was fascinated. "You can teleport?" Flitwick chuckled and replied, "You will be able to learn it as well." Ophelia grinned. "Where in Britain are we teleporting-apparating, sorry-to? I can't say I've heard of Diagon Alley." Flitwick smiled at her kindly. "We're apparating to London, Ms. Diana." Her gaze was a puzzled one. Flitwick chuckled. "I'll explain once we get there. Now, you must hold onto my shoulder quite tightly, understood?" Ophelia nodded and grasped his shoulder. Flitwick then whisked her away.

Once they landed, Ophelia promptly vomited on the side of the road. Feeling horrified, she apologized profusely to Flitwick, but to her surprise, he just chuckled and stated that it happened frequently. Eventually, she calmed down and they walked into a lame pub named _The Leaky Cauldron._ Ophelia looked at Flitwick skeptically. They quickly walked to the back, where Flitwick took out a stick ("wand, Ms. Diana,") and tapped it against the brick wall in a pattern. The wall revealed to show a wonderful, colorful alley that Ophelia was sure was part of some sort of pocket dimension. She almost forgot to follow after Flitwick, who had gestured for her to follow him. To her surprise, instead of stopping at any of the stores on the side of the alley, they headed straight for a gleaming white building. Once they got closer, Ophelia could make out the name _Gringotts_. "This is Britain's wizarding bank," Flitwick squeaked. She gazed on with mild curiosity. "It is run by goblins, who are quite strict. It would do you well to be respectful." Ophelia nodded vigorously while they climbed the surprisingly clean stairs. She noticed a poem that was engraved on the doors of the building. It read;

_Enter, stranger, but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours,_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding more than treasure there._

Ophelia shivered, the goblin's pointy claws and teeth fresh in her mind. They walked into the bank to be met with fabulous architecture with work describing battles with goblins and the such. It seemed very mighty, Ophelia thought. She liked it. They were led to a goblin sitting high up in a chair. Ophelia hummed. "Do I have a vault?" Flitwick replied, "No, not yet. You are muggle-raised and muggleborn? You can open one when you are a certain age." Ophelia nodded, then stopped. "Well, I didn't know my parents. What if they had a vault? Is there a way to figure that information?" The goblin considered her for a moment and nodded. "You may be able to take an inheritance test, if that would be satisfactory?" Ophelia nodded politely, while eagerly, as Flitwick gave his permission. "You are underage," he explained when she asked. "You need some form of permission to be able to take the test. It does require blood from you, are you alright with that?" Ophelia felt a bit queasy at the mention of blood, but nodded nonetheless. The goblin nodded and hopped down from his seat with surprising grace.

"Follow me, if you will." Flitwick explained to her that the equipment for the test was in another room, as well as it was a rather private event. "Sorry that this is taking a bit longer than you must've expected," Ophelia apologized. Flitwick waved off her apology and they followed the goblin to another room, where there was a table. The table had some chairs surrounding it and a weird stone device with what looked like gibberish to her carved in it sat on the table. They took their seats, and the goblin went through how the stone worked. It had runes on it, etched into the stone that when it came into contact with blood, it would print out information on a piece of parchment. The whole process was very interesting, she would have to read more on it. The goblin supplied her with a knife and she nicked the very tip of her finger. It felt a bit like a needle, and it surprisingly did not hurt very much. She held her finger over the stone and watched the blood drip down onto the runes. The runes glowed briefly, and Ophelia watched with wonder as writing bloomed on the parchment in crisp, cool, ink. 

_Ophelia Diana Black_

_Date of Birth: May 2nd, 1980_

_Parents:_

_Regulus Arcturus of the Black Family (deceased)_

_Amelié Mary of the Perkins family (deceased)_

_Sibling(s):_

_None_

_Close Familial Relationships:_

_Andromeda Tonks née Black (Cousin)_

_Sirius Black (Unavailable)(Uncle)_

_Narcissa Malfoy née Black (Cousin)_

_Ladyship(s)_ _:_

_Unable to claim main heirship_

_First in line for title of Lady Black (able to change)_

_Vault(s):_

_Black Family Trust Vault (available for use)_

_Black Family Main Vault (unable to use until of age and with permission from Lord Black)_

Ophelia sat flabbergasted. "I-" Flitwick frowned. He had not seen the parchment yet. "Are you alright, Ms. Diana?" She opened her mouth and closed it. She handed the parchment over to Flitwick. As he read, his eyebrows rose high into his hairline. "This is quite interesting, Ms. Black." Ophelia wrinkled her nose. Would she have to get used to that? "So may I use the trust vault, then?" The goblin nodded. "Yes. We will have someone lead you to the vault. You do need a key, which I am assuming that you do not have." Ophelia nodded and the goblin left the room. She fidgeted. The occupants of the room were silent in the waiting for the new key. The goblin came back into the room a few minutes later with a expensive looking key in his hand. The goblin handed the key to Ophelia. It was quite heavy. She turned it over in her hands, and looked up to the goblin. "May we go to the vault?" The goblin grunted and led them out of the room.

Calling for another goblin, whose name was Griphook, they started off to a cart. Ophelia looked at the cart confusedly. "The cart leads underground, to where the vaults are, Ms. Black," Flitwick informed. Ophelia nodded. They climbed into the cart, and Griphook started to maneuver the cart around many tunnels. It was disorienting. Ophelia did not find this very fun, and tried not to vomit for the second time that day. They-eventually-arrived at the vault. It was a bit farther down than she expected. "The Blacks are a very old family, Ms. Black." She hummed. They took the key and opened the door to the vault.

Ophelia gasped. There was so much gold! "This is all for me?" Flitwick nodded. "Yes. This is the vault you will draw money from until you turn seventeen-when you are no longer a minor." Ophelia tried not to smile smugly. She got to be an adult a year early in that case! Griphook handed Ophelia a bag and told her to get her money. She looked to Flitwick questioningly. He quickly explained to her the currency of the galleons, sickles, and knuts. Ophelia thought for a moment. "Is there a way you can exchange the currency to pounds?" Griphook explained that yes, there was a way, and that a galleon was equal to five pounds. Ophelia spluttered. Only five pounds?! For the solid gold coins? She shook her head and began to shovel coins into the bag as Flitwick was instructing her to do. She got what she thought would be enough, and they exited the vault and climbed into the cart. They raced through caves and tunnels yet again, this time Ophelia a bit more used to it. She hobbled out of the cart with Flitwick and started off to explore the rest of Diagon Alley.

Walking out onto the cobbled streets, Flitwick directed her to a bookshop named _Flourish and Blotts_. Her eyes gleamed with excitement. Books! Some of her best friends! She all but ran into the store. She took out her letter and looked back at the shelves of books. She stood there for a bit, remembering that witches and wizards probably had a different sorting system than what she was used to. They were unusual, so it wouldn't be _too_ outrageous. She looked to Flitwick for help. He showed her that indeed, they sorted it differently. "Why would they sort it by number of pages?" She felt a bit incredulous. "Sometimes," Flitwick replied, "wix lack logic and common sense, Ms. Black." Ophelia giggled a bit. They got out the books they needed, though Flitwick allowed her to grab some more books for extra reading. Potions, arithmancy, ancient runes, and wizarding politics were all on her lists. She thought for a bit, then decided she ought to research cultures of say, goblins and the other beings that maybe existed. It was all so interesting! 

Flitwick chuckled at how many books she was carrying. "I'd soon see you in Ravenclaw with that attitude around books!" She looked at him curiously. "There're houses in magic boarding school?" "Yes, there are four houses," Flitwick said. "They all have traits assigned to them. You are sorted by which trait you value. Hufflepuff values hard work and loyalty the most, Ravenclaw values intelligence and curiosity the most, Slytherins cunning and ambition, and Gryffindors bravery and courageousness. I am the head of the Ravenclaw house." Ophelia blinked. Those all seemed like good traits. "How do you get sorted? Do they send you and have you sort us? Or is there a test?" Flitwick laughed. 

They got out a trunk, (it was made of a nice dark wood, and was reasonably sized), potion things, ("how interesting that they keep for so long!"), and stopped for ice cream. Flitwick got some sort of green flavor, while Ophelia got chocolate. She originally had wanted peanut butter, but that didn't exist in the wizarding world. A shame. There they spoke about what some restrictions on magic there were, and if arithmancy was exactly like muggle maths. They then went to get her robes, and the rest of the supplies. Then, they got to the main attraction. Ophelia was about to get her wand! "Is magic able to be performed by someone without using a wand?" Flitwick replied that it was possible, but only magically strong individuals could successfully control it for long. They walked into the shop, and was immediately greeted with the smell of dust and wood. It smelled quite nice, she supposed. A bell rang and someone seemed to notice that they were there.

"Ah yes, Mr. Flitwick." A man seemed to appear to their side almost immediately. She assumed that this man was Ollivander. "I remember your wand. Seven inches and quite springy, was it not?" Flitwick nodded a yes. "My name's Ophelia Diana Black," she said when Ollivander stared at her. "What is your wand hand?" It took Ophelia a minute to register it. "Oh, well, I'm ambidextrous, but I use my left hand more." He quickly began to measure her arms. He was muttering non-stop. He then stopped, put away his measuring tape, and began to look for a wand. He shoved a wand into her hand. At his prompt, she waved it. She felt a bit weird waving a stick, but shoved the feeling down. Plenty of other people used wands, so it was normal. He took that wand out of her hands and gave her a bunch one after one. 

After searching for a few minutes, Ollivander handed her a wand with patterns engraved on the sides. "Willow, ten inches, unicorn hair, sturdy, though a bit flexible." She waved it, and felt a warmth fill her body. Sparks flew out of the wand, and excitement filled her to the brim. She had a wand! Ollivander nodded approvingly. "Yes, this was a good wand. It will serve you well, Ms. Black." She beamed, and they paid for the wand. 

Walking out of the store, Ophelia was surprised to see it was the late afternoon. "I think we're done, so should we get going?" Flitwick nodded. "I was about suggest that, Ms. Black." After they walked out of the alley, Ophelia grimaced as she readied to apparate. A moment later, they were back at the orphanage. Ophelia this time did not vomit, so that was a success. She waved goodbye to Flitwick, and started to her room, ready to read her books. She eagerly told Mrs. Walker all about her adventure. Mrs. Walker seemed amazed, and after seeing Ophelia's wand as well as seeing her appear out of nowhere convinced her that Ophelia was really serious about everything, and that there was no on-going prank. As Ophelia laid on her bed that night, she felt another rush of excitement as she waited for September 1st. 


	4. Chapter 4

In the days following Ophelia's and Professor Flitwick's visit to Diagon Alley, she quickly became more and more fascinated with the subjects she had read about as well as the thought of going to Hogwarts. She had read through most of her school books, and had started swapping from them to the other books she had bought at Flourish and Blotts. Some books were a bit harder to understand than the others. Namely the one's she had picked up about wizarding politics. It all seemed so biased against wix (she learned that that was the proper name for them, not 'witches and wizards'), and all the magical creatures mentioned seemed to be pronounced as 'lesser' to wix. It was a bit outrageous, as goblins seemed as, if not more, intelligent as wix. And what was this about house elves?! They were slaves?! She'd have to ask Professor Flitwick about it and research about how that ever came to be. She did need to cool down sometimes when it came to topics like those. She had chosen out some good eggs though, as she read a fascinating book co-written by a goblin himself. It was about goblin culture, and it was very informative. She wondered whether or not classes about goblin culture were taught at Hogwarts. Were there electives there? She nodded yes, as it seemed unreasonable that they stuck to the same subjects for seven years straight. Speaking of classes at Hogwarts, she looked back to her stack of books. The one that sat on the top was her potions textbook. It was quite intriguing, really. She had always liked cooking and baking, and had assumed potions would be similar to the two subjects. But it actually, they were different. In potions, it mattered on the order in which you placed things, as well as how you stirred. It was very interesting!

Another favorite subject of hers to read about was maths, or rather, arithmancy. It seemed like there was some sort of difference between the two subjects, but Ophelia couldn't be sure. She was very excited to learn if there was a class for arithmancy in the later years. If there wasn't she might-might! Riot? Yes, riot. She quite liked these two subjects, and was pretty confident in her skills. However, one subject she was anxious about was herbology. She didn't mind getting her hands dirty at all, no. Ophelia was just very forgetful when it came to plants. She had once had a flower and tried to grow it, and had forgotten to water it the week after she had gotten it. She took extra notes on the subject, as well as potions. She sat back on her bed (her office... for now. Mrs. Walker had said no when she had asked for an office. Shame.) and laid her head against the board. Her mind drifted yet again to Diagon Alley, and the wonders she had seen. She was astounded at the place and had been floored by Gringotts. Speaking of Gringotts, she thought back to how she had found her parent's names. When she had gotten back to the orphanage, she had told Mrs. Walker all about her findings. Mrs. Walker had adopted a sad sort of expression, before replying with a "that's nice, dear," before sending her off to bed. 

She wondered if she would ever learn more about her parents. What about her family? Who exactly were the Blacks? She had scarce information about her family, and she wished for more. One day, she thought, she'd learn all about them. One day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to thank you for all the kudos you've all sent! It means a lot to me :) Please feel free to send constructive criticism anytime! Sorry it's kinda short compared to last chapter :/ I'm working on making the lengths more consistent :))


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